Lets whine

"Whiners have been known to make valid points, but then they act like the point is the most important thing in the world"

(anonymous) 

1st point that she wanted to whines about is; she had been left all along, in this gloomy house because she refused to get up and open the window. I mean, this is totally unfair when I love had to lay on the bed, writing whining virtually instead of being in my hometown enjoying the season. How could they left me alone? 

Because you have to go back to Malacca! 

Oh, Ok, I get it. But still, its something to be told, because I am a whiner.

The next thing is; the school break is almost over. Mayday! Mayday! I don't have the time! But I am capable of relaxing on my back, without a trace of guilt. Dida will come over tonight and we are going to head back to Malacca on.. weh, freaking tomorrow! And the day after tomorrow, i'll be making chaotic memories on that school. 

That's your responsibility as a trainee teacher la! 

Oh, Ok, I get it. But still, its something to be told, because I am a whiner.

Then; the school. Headache! Headache! Ok, let me be a total whiner on this. Chronologically, on the 4th day in school, the principal finally cleared his unorganized tight schedule to meet us. Teacher-trainee. For the first time. Is it not obvious?. For the first time, after the fourth day at the school, we finally got our rare chances, to meet the head of the school. The Pengetua. I was like; "oh, finally, we will be greet by the principle". I was expecting a warm, welcoming face that would surely give us support as a beginner, and boost over confidence, and willing to give us guidance. What do you expect? It's like hoping for beds of roses, lilacs ad dandelions when you are clearly on a desert (exaggeration is my middle name! humor me, erthlings) The first sentence that I heard from him wasn't "welcome to so and so, and I hope you find it comfortable to be here" but, in stern, straight voice, " I want to check on your Rancangan Pengajaran. I am the PRINCIPLE, so have the authority to call upon all of you whenever I like. You, trainee teachers, need a special supervision so that you don't pollute my children(students) when you leave this school " 

Suddenly I felt like singing; Yang kurik kundi, yang merah saga, baik budi indah la bahasa ooooo...

I get it, his trying to show off enforce! that he holds the authority. Actually, you didn't have to do that, you are The Pengetua, an with the name itself comes the power. Everybody knows that. After checking our RP's book, he showed us some gratitudes because we have been doing one swell of the job in teaching his students. Oh, I've been cynical over ad over. Instead of checking what we have been teaching, he scanned for imperfections. He told us how lazy teacher trainee could be and that's why he need like to do this. Then, lets begins Q n A session.

P: What are your objectives here?

Sue: I want to learn on how to teach the.....

P: You are here not just for learning! You also need to teach......

don't you know it is rude to interrupt without warning? Clearly you don't want to know the answer. So, why bother asking one?

P: Since you are very good on your theory, I want you to apply it here. So, what did you do on your relief classes?

Aku: Usually, I ask them what they have learnt and .....

P: what is the use of asking that? You should have use you skills and whatever that you've learn on UNIVERSITY!

Once again. It's rude to interrupt. I am yet finish my sentences. I asked the students what their teachers do during the relief classes and what did they say? THE TEACHER ASKS US TO SLEEP! You see, I pity the students when they said that. Asked them to sleep? How hilarious is that. This is a school, upper secondary some more, and the teachers treats them like they are being left at kindergarten or nursery where there is a slot for afternoon nap. Ironically, the head of the school asked us to make us of our skills. Anyway, what's his problem with Uiversity? I smell the inferiority complex kicking in. 

P: We should have let the University trains the trainee teachers on their own. Why bother send them to school?

I say, why bother accepting us in the first place if this is how you gonna treat us? You should have rejected the proposal for teacher trainee long before you start accepting them. Then, the blame is on you because you are not true to your words and it shows us, the beginner in this field, how tangle the system might be, under your supervision.

P: I want to know about Nilam. Language teachers, have you check about that? Did you know about Nilam?

Aku: Yes, Nilam is.....

P: Have you check you students' book?

Aku: No, not yet, I ...

P: What is this? I am not satisfy with the Nilam's program. Another language teacher? Did you check on this?

Dida: No, not yet, we...

P: Look at them, is this how you going to be a teacher?

Dida: Cikgu, this is our first week in this school, so we have not been informed about that yet.

.silence.

P: Head of language department, I am not satisfy with the achievement o this program, please do something.

Laughing Mighty Out Loud! He doesn't even know that we've been here for only four days. This is professionalism. And I can't see any trace of that on you. Clearly, he was not happy with his staffs and taking it out on us. Is this how the pengetua is? Then, I dont want to stay in this profession, when you will have an autocratic leader, that finally will restrict your action and not to mention your mind. The first experience is really important in how you perceive the world after. Have you ever wonder why some babies yelling, wailing out loud when they touch the water while some babies literally have to be dragged out of the water? Because, their first experience with the water, whether positive or negative encounter with it, decides everything. Ok, lets imagine I am the baby (not that I am as adorable as little-monster-super-cute-baby) and the school is water. It is the same for me. This is the first experience in school, and I have bad impression on this, so it just impossibly hard for me to say that "this is what I want to do for my life". Starting to asks why did i blindly, took the scholarship that requires me to teach at lest for 3 years.

M: The teacher from IPG is more qualified than University's teacher.

M: Please don't take your students out, take them to their house, especially you form 4 students, please don't have scandals with them. It happens before.

Double standard. And it happens to come out from the very mouth of a senior teacher. Yes, a teacher who spend her life time to educate students. I just feel sick. You know, some people is willing to step on other people to be where they are today. I clearly, witnessed it myself, sitting just in front of me.Politics is everywhere. I just don't feel like to stay in this anymore. Frankly, the fourth day in school, as a teacher trainee, is like spraying a bucket of water on a currently lit candle. Then, the fire helplessly put off without any resistance. That's me alright.

Uh, finally, I don't feel like writing all those conversations. Lets the rest be a secret ke?. Most importantly, Dida, Sue and I, feel so bad and stressed out.

That is life, you. Don't you expect life will be easy on you every time you take the next step. If this doesn't happened, you will never think and get caught up in your own fantasy world where it the rainbows stretching  above you head, birds chipping happily and streams flow endlessly. These experiences will mold you, strengthen you, and educate you. If it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger. 

Oh, Ok, I get it. But still, its something to be told, because I am a whiner.